Trying to conceive a baby can be very trying to a relationship. Oftentimes if the journey to conception has taken on epic lengths, the relationship with the one we love the most will suffer. Balancing the chore of conception with the play of lovemaking is the key to a happy and healthy relationship. And don’t let stress be the driving force.

There’s no doubt that trying to get pregnant month after month is very stressful. Lovemaking will turn into the duty of conception, leaving many husbands feeling like baby making machines. Sure, sex is great - but even the most sexually driven man will begin to feel resentful about it if it is looked at as only a “baby making” session.

There are ways to combat the stress of trying to conceive. Stress can hinder conception - even if the stress stems from the trying. The key is to relax. Relax and enjoy yourselves. It’s important to take the “mechanics” out of the act of intercourse and put back in the spontaneity.

You may be concerned with positions and time on your back afterward. This can be stressful to both partners - especially if you shove your husband to the side afterward to throw your legs up on a pillow. This has been said to aid in conception, however it’s not the answer all the time. Ask the mom who conceived her child in the back seat of a car while on top if it matters or not.

Try to go with your feelings of lovemaking again. Do what feels good at the moment and not be concerned with the correct position. Make a date with your husband and go parking. This will drive him wild and put that spark back into the relationship.

Don’t demand to have intercourse just because you are ovulating. I know my husband always hated to hear that because he knew the “positions” and the time on the back would take precedence over the lovemaking - and it would simply be an act of baby making instead. I got to where I wouldn’t even tell him I was ovulating - I would simply act loving and sexy and allow nature to take it’s own course.

I know this works. For 16 months my husband and I stressed about conceiving our third baby. The month I quit trying and started enjoying my husband again is the month we conceived. We didn’t try, we didn’t schedule “baby making” times, I didn’t insist on certain positions nor did I lay on my back for 20 minutes afterwards. We let spontaneity rule - and we followed our instincts and had fun - as if we weren’t trying to get pregnant after all.

Like I said, I know this works, because 2 weeks later I had a positive pregnancy test and now we have another beautiful baby daughter! So relax, enjoy yourselves, concentrate on LOVE making and not baby making.

Lori Ramsey's website:  Stages in Pregnancy