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Time to Take a
Break
by Lori Ramsey
How much time should
you spend trying to conceive? How much time before seeking professional help?
How much time before taking a break? When you first started trying did you set a
time limit in your mind? I know I did. It helps to set goals, especially when
doing something as stressful as trying to conceive a baby.
First thing to take into consideration is your age. If you are in your twenties,
I say time is definitely on your side. Because the reproductive system in a
woman in her twenties is in optimal condition, you can be leisurely about
setting the goals. It truly depends upon how desperately you wish to have a
baby. Most physicians will require a woman in her twenties to wait at least 6
months before running fertility tests, some even a year.
If you are in your thirties, especially your latter thirties, you will want to
seek professional help a little sooner. The rule of thumb again will be 6 months
of trying with no success before most physicians will start testing. However the
closer to 40 you are, the more likely your physician will run the tests perhaps
after 3 months of trying unsuccessfully.
Most definitely if you are over 40 your physician may want to begin fertility
testing right away – because time is not on your side. It will depend upon your
physician and your determination to conceive. Because there are more
complications after the age of 35, your physician will want to make sure you are
in optimal health before conceiving.
After you’ve tried everything to conceive to no avail, and after your physician
says that you and your partner check out healthy with no obvious fertility
problems, it may be the time to take a break. Taking a break from trying to
conceive when wanting a baby is probably one of the hardest things you can do.
But it just may be the most necessary thing to do.
Trying to conceive a baby is extremely stressful. It can bring on obsessions
that can take its toll on your relationship. This kind of stress can hinder
ovulation, and can hinder conception itself. Tensing up, worrying, all these can
cause your body to simply not allow conception to take place. It’s when your
relationship begins to suffer that you need to step back and take a breather.
Is the basal body thermometer becoming the object you allow to dictate how your
day goes? Is the week you have your menstrual period a particularly bad one? Do
you judge your happiness by the reading on the thermometer? Do you drive your
husband nuts with insisting on certain positions? Is the spontaneity gone from
the relationship? Has lovemaking turned strictly into babymaking?
Before you compromise your relationship with trying to make a baby – step back
and revaluate why you want a baby. And then simply quit trying. There again –
set a goal – after all is said and done. Your physician finds absolutely nothing
wrong with you or your husband – and you’ve tried and tried with no positive
results it’s high time to take a break. Set a goal as to how long you take a
break. Try for several months – if you simply can’t let it go that long – take a
one-month break. Take the time during your break to be spontaneous. Put the
thermometer away – don’t worry about positions or time of day – simply let
nature lead the way. Put the LOVE back into lovemaking. And who knows, maybe it
takes love to make a baby after all! It did with me all 3 times!
Lori Ramsey's website:
Stages in Pregnancy
© 2005 by Lori Ramsey
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